A Quick Chat With Alex Horne

UK comedian Alex Horne is currently performing his solo show Seven Years in the Bathroom at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. We caught up with Alex to ask him our 20 Questions… (read them, he is a very, very funny man)…

1. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
An army. No less, no more, I was determined to be an army.

2. Who is the most important person in the world to you?
Hugh Hefner. He pays my way. I am one of his bunnies. Without him I am nothing. (I’m also fond of my two sons. And my wife)

3. What animal best represents you and why?
My agent. I’ve been with him for a few years now and he really knows what I want to do and what I don’t want to do. He also drives a hard bargain.

4. If you were a contestant on Deal or No Deal, how much would you need to be on offer before you walked away?
Big if, but let’s say that happens, I’d deal on the first box, whatever the amount, because I’ve got a bet with William Hill that someone’s going to do that soon. I stand to win £50.

5. What was the first piece of comedy/theatre/film/TV you ever appeared in and how old were you?
I played the Pharoah/Elvis character in Joseph and His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat at Primary School. I remember it well. I must have been about 7 years old. I’m pretty much reprising that role in both my shows this year.

6. Windows or MAC?
I’m having to fight hard not to do a pun about raincoats, macdonalds or seeing through walls so I’ll just say: a third option please. Ideally one called POWERCOMPUTER.

7. Favourite food?
Hot Meat.

8. Who is the actor you would most like to work alongside?
Emilio Estevez. And we’d be window cleaners. Actual window cleaners. I really can’t act but I am excellent at cleaning windows. I imagine he would be too.

9. What five songs would be the first you put a mix tape?
Slightly odd question. I tend to do mine one at a time, rather than five at a time. But presuming this cassette player has this mind-blowing five-in-one-go function, I’d slam in
American Pie (Don McLean)
Back For Good (Take That)
Call Me Al (Simon and Garfunkel)
Dragon’s Misplaced Fears (one of my own)
Enya (anything).

I tend to do things in alphabetical order.

10. What is the best thing about comedy in Australia?
Audience’s seem to have an in-built respect for ‘International’ Acts.

11. What’s the worst thing about comedy in Australia?
‘International’ Acts will be tired for at least the first week of shows.

12. Name one moment when you looked around, breathed happily and felt content.
Birth, apparently. I came out pretty smug.

13. Where is the most interesting place you have travelled?
Leatherhead. It’s a town in Surrey, just outside London. It’s purely functional but I spent a year wandering it’s streets. I was the first person to ever go there on a voluntary holiday.

 14. Who is the most famous person you’ve ever met?
I met the Pope in 2005. When you marry a Catholic (that should be ‘if’ really) you can get a blessing from the Pope within a year. We did that. I have a degree in Latin so I tried to chat to one of my few fellow Latin speakers. I said ‘salve Papa’, which means ‘hello Pope’. He said ‘quicumque’ which means ‘whatever’.

15. Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you onstage?
It was embarrassing but I quite liked it. As an open spot I walked onto stage at the infamous Up The Creek club in South London. They took against me because I had a face, or something. I said, ‘give me a minute’. They whole crowd, as one, counted down from 60 to zero. I stuck my ground then left quietly.

16. What’s your life motto?
It doesn’t matter.

17. What’s your favourite post-show snack?
Dim sum. Ideally a full meal, but usually a single bun, swallowed whole.

18. What’s your biggest phobia?
Homophobia. Not really, but I do find it odd that it’s still classed as a ‘phobia’. “I’m scared of the dark, what are you scared of”, “gays”. It doesn’t seem quite right. I’m actually scared of girls but I am straight. Not ideal.

19. What is the worst date you’ve ever had?
9-11.

20. Where do you see yourself in five years?
Hill-walking. I really don’t want to be but the irreversible turning-into-my-dad thing has really kicked in recently.

Seven Years in the Bathroomis a 60 minute show and is playing at the Melbourne Town Hall – Powder Room until April 22

Bookings:

• Ticketmaster 1300 660 013
• At the door